The silence is so much worse.

Where has the laughter gone? The happy memories are so distant now. I think I would even take the fighting, anything but the silence.

I know there is still love in me, it’s somewhere but asleep, lying in a dormant state awaiting the eruption.

Every time the light is within touching distant something  minimal happens and it further away than it was before. It is like one step forward 2 steps back.

I know it’s probably me. I am in a dark place. Nothing is going right. I’m saying everything wrong again. I need to think before I speak. Yes it is all me.

I need to be strong and stop wallowing in self pity. I need to be the one to break the silence, have I got it in me, am I strong enough?


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