Grandparents

I will start this blog by stating “Yes I am jealous, jealous beyond belief that people get copious amount of help from grandparents with their children and I don’t” so you now can’t state that that bitter or a sour grape because I have already made the statement myself.

Right after my little declaration there I will proceed with my post. What is the role of a grandparent?

My boys are lucky enough to have 8 grandparents ranging from a 91 year old Great Great Grandma to a 45 year old Grandad.

From reading my blog most people will know that I was only 19 when giving birth to G, so with both sets of grandparents still working full time I always knew that we wouldn’t get a huge amount of help from them childcare wise.

I am a grafter always have been always will be, I currently work 2 jobs and hubster does shifts. Do we get an ounce of help from grandparents , no not a scrap.

Yes when I had G they were great but I can count in 1 hand how many childcare reason days that they have had my boys. I wouldn’t mind really but the in laws are teachers yet holidays and social life always seems to be more important.

Now don’t get me wrong I adore my boys, the fact that I can now be their full time carers but yet get paid for the privilege, is the best feeling and I feel vey blesses to be able to do this.

However I can’t help but feel my boys are the ones that are truly missing out. Granted I have never had the best relationship with my mum so she only sees the boys maybe once every 2 months. Yet the in laws who live on the same road can go a fortnight/3weeks before spending any time with them.
It really upsets me, I remember when I was pregnant with R my FIL turned around and stated that they have G enough and that MIL sees G every day in school so she does see him.

I know where this has all come from last Friday it was my wedding anniversary and they wouldn’t give up the Friday night plans ( go out for dinner then share a bottle or 2 of red wine with friends, like they do every single sodding Friday) to baby sit our boys for us to the cinema, then Saturday was R’s 2nd birthday yet my FIL thinks scouts is more important so went to a meeting over seeing him on his birthday.

I am just so angry at the moment and feel so far apart from grandparents that I can’t help but feel well if your not going to make he effort then why should I bother, I do enough.

So when your LO are spending one with grandparents feel blessed because not all people get it.

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8 responses to “Grandparents

  1. I think people forget how hard it is and can be very selfish. i am very lucky that i have my mum nan and hayley but then i choose for chloe not to go to certain family members as they can not be trusted. If i was you i wouldnt do it anymore me and peter have fast learnt that the one you do the running round for stab you in the back

  2. Shame on them. Coronation Street last night, Deirdre accused Liz of being a fairweather grandparent. It is disgusting, being a grandparent means helping your own children to raise theirs. At least when you have grandchildren you will know better. I am sorry they are so ignorant about their role, maybe you could write a little book “how to be a grandparent” and give them a copy xx

  3. It really sucks that you have so many Grandparents and so little help. My next A to Z is ‘G’ and it’s for Grandparents. Already written but posting next week (got so many posts coming out my ears at the mo).

    I know that my parents are always there for me but I hardly ever use them – I’ve had friends say to me that they think I’m mad but now they have F once a week on a Friday. Only recently I’ve started this volunteer work which I’d never be able to do without them.

    You need to have a serious word. They will regret it when G & R are older and don’t want to spend time with them as that’s what often happens. I have a friend in the same situation as you and it’s awful x

  4. Oh that is really sad. I have had my moments with my my mum but mainly caused by the amount my sister gets her to have her child which means she doesn’t then have any time for mine because I don’t take advantage of her. I think it’s a balancing act and your parents in law need it pointing out that it’s all weighted one way at the moment. Its so difficult because it’s such an emotive issue. Good luck!

  5. I sooooo relate to your post. My kids have never had what I would describe as ‘proper’ Grandaparents either. My Mum still had young kids herself (My youngest brother is 17 yrs younger than me)and Mum worked long hours so it was me helping her with childcare. Mum helped me with other things like holidays and material things etc instead.

    Mum is no longer with us and on her deathbed she said her biggest regret was not spending enough time with the Grandkids, she said if she could just have a couple more yrs she would take them all to the seaside every week and just sit watching them play and enjoying their company. It broke my heart seeing the regret in her eyes.

    Hubbies parents dont bother at all…Not even with birthday cards. It is very hard on the kids as they see their friends all visiting their Grandparents and they can’t.

    We are Grandparents ourselves now and we worship our Granddaughter. We have her every school holiday and I constantly tell her Mum that I will babysit whenever she needs me. I would drop everything because I know how important it is to give my Granddaughters Mum a break if she needs it as I never had that and would have loved the extra help at times just for a night out etc.

    I think your kids Grandparents will regret their lack of interest in time, especially as your kids grow older and act indiferent towards them. Sending you a hug…I know how upsetting it is x

    • Thank you so much for this reply. It’s nice to know I am not alone. We have friends who basically depend full stop on their parents not only for childcare but for a social life also. We have very little help for either and I really do feel that it is my boys who are missing out.
      Glad to see you are spending time with your granddaughter, we have told G to at least wait until we are in a financial situation to help with childcare before he has children of his own.

  6. ah that’s really sad, your boys would benefit so much from grandparents. I feel very lucky after reading this. My mum does one day a week childcare for us and MIL another one and Isla gains so much from seeing them. They also wouldn’t have it any other way, in fact I think MIL would have her more. I hope that sometime in the near future all the grandparents realise what a special thing it is to be involved in nurturing the little people. Sending you hugs, x

  7. Pingback: The Gallery – Grandparents « neverfoundtheplot

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