Voices inside my head!

You see and read a bubbly person. You hear and talk with a confident person. However who you think I am is in fact complete different.

Their’s 2 of me you see, there is the person I actually am introverted, self conscious eager to please, yearning to be loved, desperate for acceptance.  However you think I’m happy-go-lucky, beaming with confidence, in control.

I’ll tell you who is in control, the voices inside my head, they tell me everything is wrong and that no-one likes me. They tell me to work faster, try harder, and that good is never good enough. It will never matter what I write, type, speak, do, act, wear. It will never be right or perfect!

I couldn’t tell when it started, all I can tell you is that I can’t ever remember not hearing them!

The real me is under there, somewhere, she ventures out occasional, however people push her back in. It is never their fault, they don’t realise what they say, act, write just fuels that voice.

I will push you away if you get too close, be warned.

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6 responses to “Voices inside my head!

  1. For those who know you getting to know you and read your blog we all do this because we like you enjoy reading about you sort of going on the rocky road with you in that sense. Warning noted but whats the point in a friend if they dont understand 😛

  2. Something that I am beginning to learn is that I am never in control, especially as a parent. I was attracted to your blog because of the title and it sums up how I feel about being a mum too. Good on you for being honest. It makes others who feel the same way feel not so alone.

    Take care, Lee

  3. God I can sooo relate to what you have written!! People mistake me for being outspoken and confident but it’s all a cover and they would not believe the ‘real’ me, nervous and literally no confidence. x

  4. For years been suffering through this…thought I am going crazy…embarrassed discuss about these voices with my family..was looking for some answers and saw ur post….was just like telling me this is what I am going through everyday…sometimes i loose sleep at least 2 days per week…
    How do u control them? I have pushed my friends away and continue to push the ppl who love me…

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