Friends with an Ex!

Ok so in setting my 2012 goal of walking 2012 miles it reminded me of my poor neglected bucket list. I had a quick scan down the list to see if I could tick any more off.

Then this one pop out as completed but not written about.

To be fair I was only 18 meeting the hubster so I’ve not been heartbrokenly hurt by an ex really but before hubster I did date Pem for 2 years. It was a strange relationship, more so for teenagers as it was based more on friendship than lust. We dated from 16 till a few days before myself and hubster got together. We would lie in bed together at night just holding hands. I trusted him with my entire world.

When he left to go to university I felt as if my world had fallen apart, I vowed that I would follow him the following year to study. I visited him for the first time 3 weeks into term. He had already changed, put it this way for the first time in 2 years we didn’t hold hands at night ;). Whilst being introduced to his friends it was strained. Even when we were in the union bar with his best mate from home it was like he didn’t want me there. Then I was introduced to her, lady in red I’ll call her. I knew straight away something was a miss, the way he spoke to her, looked at her his overall body language. It was from them I knew it had ended between us.

I still visited a handful more times. Then it came to his birthday weekend. First weekend in December the whole gang from Edinburgh to London came together for what he didn’t know at the time was the final time. We had a fab evening but we gave each other that look, that look of I love you but we both know it’s over. He danced with the lady in red most of the evening, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I cried that evening, I did but knew because I felt like I was losing my best friend more than my lover. In the train station on the way home one of the other girlfriends gave me a hug, a knowing hug. I would never see her again, and we both knew it.

I came home and had a shift that Sunday night, this boy, delivery driver who had chatted with me a fair few times over the past few weeks, asking for advice on what to get girlfriend for Christmas.  He saw that look in my eye that Sunday night and gave me a hug, now bare with me, we both stepped back automatically, because what felt like an electric shock happened. When I looked at him again something had changed. I wouldn’t say love at first sight but my lord I knew I wanted him and something special was going to happen.

Pem returned home for Christmas on 18th but we had arranged to go out for Christmas on 21st. He’d bought me tickets to see ‘Of Mice and Men’, we went for dinner also but idle chit chat was passed, we both had other people on our minds.  After watching the show we returned to the train station, we stood on the platform and gave our last hug to each other. He knew, I knew but our time was up. I stepped on the train and didn’t turn back. When I stood up and stepped off the train before I had chance to look up I had been turned around and lips were touching mine. That first kiss was magical, and as corny as it sounds I knew there and then this was it for life.

Pem returned to Uni and started dating lady in red, they dated for 3 years before she broke his heart by destroying their life plans. We stayed friends, I helped him through the break up, told him to go into ESOL/TEFL, which he did and then he met his future wife. She’s Canadian, he’s over the moon happy. I will remain friends with his for life.


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